overwhelmed!

i really have meant to update. i log on to blogger then i get so overwhelmed with all tat has been happening! so paul got his class date. he unfortunately did not get the MOS he wanted but they made sure he stayed MI (thank goodness) so he got a jack of all trades desk jobber kind of MOS (35F). well he will be at Ft huachuca (:thumbsdown: LOL) for 4 months. automatically i asked him if we could go back to torrance and he said yes! so we'll be in southern california from feburary to june... that means we wil be able to share his first birthday with the whole family! (maybe paul will be able to catch a flight home really quick? i hope so!!!!)

so... for jaker updates! he has been crawling since he was about 6 months old. that means now he knows how to crawl to get to places that he can pull himself up to too! he has been cruising the couch and the coffee table. :( why sad face? because my little man is mobile!!! well, paul and i being the well, whatever happens happens kind of parents, we haven't gotten baby gates yet (haha i know). we keep talking about it.... but no action. he crawls everywhere! he has also started to eat soilds. he loves to eat! i'd say asparagus and sweet potato is his favorite.

yes, its that easy.

paul said to me at breakfast today, i don't know what the big deal is. i was like hmm? and he said, parenting. i told him, well we've been lucky. you know there are babies that can't be put on the floor like that because they want to be carried? then he simply replied, then why don't they strap them to their chest (aka babywearing)?

hehe.

many people ask us if jake is sleeping through the night. he is not. he still wakes up during the night, sometimes three times a night. people are surprised by this, but i don't have the heart to tell them that i've been co-sleeping with jake since birth and getting quite of bit of good quality sleep. i can't imagine how it would have been if i had to physically wake up to tend to him. i would probably be a zombie right now.

this all could have gone a different path. when he was 2 days old we found out that jake did not like sleeping on a cold sheet, so he wouldn't even sleep in his cosleeper. i was disappointed. i wanted to cosleep with him but i wanted to do it safely of course... but he was happiest tucked in our arms. i could have let him cry it out and tire him to sleep, but my conscience didn't let me so. he has never cried it out. i get plenty of sleep.

guilty.

i am guilty of not posting. life has been grand lately. also i have some awesome pictures of jake but it is on paul's SD card and i just have to remember to upload them. jake has gotten bigger. he sometimes wears 12 month clothes. i think we are very overwhelmed by how fast he is growing. it blows our mind that he can even fit some 12 month stuff. we forget that he is not even 6 months yet. we went shopping at the outlets and we spent A LOT of money on the little guy, more than we even spend ourselves... and we probably get much more use from whatever we buy. HA. but still paul was captivated by gymboree's pirate dog line (so cute) and the osh kosh b'gosh 50% off sale. we did manage to pick up a pizza stone and a cool criscross cutter that chop carrots in the thai curries (SCORE!).

jake has bonded with dad wonderfully. paul even put him back to sleep when he woke up tonight. there was a little bit of crying, then there he was sleeping. i almost got up and went to nurse him but paull called out that everything is ok... and it was.

honestly? why i cloth diaper.

jake is 4 months old now. i've been exclusively using cloth for about 3 months now. i really love it. now i can reflect on WHY i love cloth diapering. so here i go.

is it the ecological benefits?

no, not really. i do worry about the amount of water i use to wash the diapers. how can that be resolved? just simply buy more diapers! there are ways that you can keep the stink away and take the stains off the diapers. what is the magic formula? baking soda + good ole sunshine! i can not believe how WELL hanging diapers in the sun gets the stain out... and believe it or not it DRIES the diaper at the same time as well (i know, hard to believe). also on another note, the energy i saved by not drying the diapers in the dryer was a whooping... 10 dollars. i was a little saddened by that but also reinforces the fact that it doesn't cost much to cloth (and i was drying a load every other day).

is it the rashless tooshie?

no, jake still gets rashes because i forget to drink water. :-( i've been trying to get better at it. jake spends a lot of his time nekkid on a towel in the living room. he likes it better that way, and his tooshie feels better too. he hardly fusses when he is naked. also its hard to use butt paste when you are cloth diapering. well, i can buy grandma el's but i have 4 tubes of butt paste i don't want to waste. i am using an old cut up gerber prefold as a liner. i guess that works pretty good. so.... yes jake still gets a rash sometimes but its not the diaper's fault.

is it the cute diaper covers?

maaaybe, but i did not buy the dr seuss bumkins when i sized up. so probably not.

so, what is it then?

in the end i'll have a mountain of cloth diapers and if you use disposables, you'll just have a mountain of trash.

i am totally selfish like that.

almost 4 months

i can't believe its been 4 months already. he is nicely growing out of his 0~3 months clothes and his diapers! i was not expecting it to be soon but last friday we weighted him in at 16 lbs and thats when his poopie blowouts started. lol. i bought the thirsties duo. i can't wait to try them out! next tuesday is his doctor's appointment and his second round of shots. not really looking forward to that.

he is cutting teeth!

jake is teething. he is a little fussy, but he is not drooling or anything like that.

Is it the end of august yet?

some firsts that jake has done the past few days:

rasperries! he had a whole lot of drool and he pfffffft at grandmas. we thought grandma tooted! i tried to get it on camera but he was busy talking to it. he's such a ham.

play date with joshua... the two boys were talking back and forth! lol. its funny because jake just falls asleep when he is around baby girls :D

mothering adventures at three months old

three months. i can't believe its already been a quarter of a year since jake was born. i must admit, i have it pretty easy. jake has been easy... but he is starting to show signs that it that all may change in a few months!

about two weeks ago he started to get very active, socially and physically. he started to notice the differences in people's faces. it was so funny because my dad was holding him when this happened. jake just stared at my dad and then within seconds he was crying. i think jake was the one most surprised of it all. i was worried that he had gotten separation anxiety or something like that but few hours later he was back to his normal self. my dad and i were awestruck. we felt like we just witnessed his cognitive skills developing. now he stares at me when someone else is holding him.... he has this 'hey if mommy is over there who is this holding me?' kind of look on his face.

so he rolled over tummy to back two weeks ago (right and left) and hasn't done it again since. :P thank goodness i got it on video! lol. it does seem like he was just showing off. haha. now his new thing is kicking, kicking, and more kicking. kicking during diaper changes (ugh), kicking while i hold him, kicking during tummy time. maybe thats why he doesn't roll over anymore. hm... interesting.

i think the biggest issue that has come to my attention is how socially unaccepted breastfeeding is!! its been so hard to nurse jake in public. i am lucky to have been blessed with a wonderful family (both sides) that accept breastfeeding (even my brother doesn't mind. yeah!) as being 'natural' but i've read that some families are not. yes, i've had to nurse him in a bathroom in a public sports venue. it was a 'family bathroom' but i had to sit on the toilet (yuck). another thing i thought, that it was a simple matter of choosing between the breastmik or formula but its not. a lot of mothers 'give up' for one reason or another even though they want to breastfeed. some doctors even advise patients to wean before the baby is 1 year old which is against the recommendation of the american association of pediatrics.

another thing i really realize until i actually started doing was how easy cloth diapering is... but i think some diaper companies are capitalizing on how scary diving into cloth diapering can be and selling all in ones when prefolds are so easy to use.

easy to fussy in a day

lately jake has become fussy. i think he is beginning to know what works for him and what doesn't. now he has prerequisites to falling asleep. he needs to be swaddled or tucked in my arms. its funny, when he is tucked in my arms i feel him sweep his feet on my thigh as if he is making sure i am there. i would leave to go do something and if he is not completely asleep he will wake up within half an hour. he won't fall asleep just being on the breast anymore.

first cold (2 months and 1 week)

he was just sneezing and coughing. i thought it was just allergies... so he got his shots and BAM! he had a cold. he never had a fever. i'm just wondering if it was his slightly lowered immune system from the shots made it worse than it really was.

doctor's appointment

jake weighs 10lbs 13oz now!

lol. i can't believe it.

2 months!

jake is 2 months old today! i weighed him last week and he was 10 lbs (but it was after a feeding)! he has been feeling heavier to me, and that is crazy because i hold him everyday. he has a doctor's appointment on tuesday.

some of his developmental milestones so far...

he did the mini push up - once.
his neck is so strong. he can hold his head up and look around.
he can turn from side to back. i THINK he turned from side to stomach but i think katie helped him (lol).
he sleeps about 3~4 hours at a time, sometimes 5.
he can turn his head from side to side while on his stomach. he is so funny because he would fuss during tummy time and even if his neck is tired he keeps trying to turn his head!
he coos, but not a lot. i don't know if he is smiling or if he is gassy. (maybe both :P)

wow.

time goes by so fast. i was looking at some old pictures (ok only 2 months ago). i can't believe that he was still in my belly then. i still marvel over everything. conception, the miracle of birth, and this tiny, helpless being we brought into this world. it maybe cliche, but seriously he is my bundle of joy. i feel so happy holding himthis feeling is so wonderful even when he is waking you up in the middle of the night, fussy with no consoling in sight, or peeing on you for the 10th time.

6 weeks 1 day

ooo its so exciting... when i give jake tummy time, he almost seems like he can turn from belly to back! he lifts his leg and looks like he can make it... but not yet. not quite.

5 weeks 2 days and growing...

so i put jake in his newborn size sleeper and he is just barely fitting into them now! his toes fit in the foot perfectly, sometimes its a little bit tight (when he stretches his legs out). since i look at him everyday its hard for me to see how fast he is growing. this morning i was surprised (its only been like 3 days since i put him in a sleeper the same size). i'm hoping that maybe it shrank *lol*. my little man is growing so fast!

1 month old

jake is a month old today!! i can't believe how time goes by so fast (i seem to be repeating myself every week).

gassy baby.

jake is gassy all of a sudden. he has been eating formula and breastmilk for the last 2 weeks so the only thing i can think of is that it maybe something in my diet... particularly cow's milk.

i'm going to miss you milk, but its for the sake of my baby's tummy.

parents will be parents.

naura ...: ugh
naura ...: one day a girl is going to steal his heart
socalyonsei: she better be hot and have money =X
naura ...: ha
socalyonsei: she better make cute grandkids
naura ...: hehehe

3 weeks

jake is 3 weeks old today!

2 weeks and 6 days old

jake got weighed today and he was 7 lbs!!! i did read the last post and yes, he was 6 lbs and 4 oz then. that means that he gained 12 oz in about a week. dr maglica was very happy. i started to use the cloth diapers. he is definitely fitting snug in his newborn clothes now.

still, its interesting that paul was still bigger than jake is right now when he was born. its weird to think about that. there was a baby that was 9 lbs 11 oz in the nursery when jake was getting his blood tests. he does have a lot of growing to do, and this is a great start.

i can't believe it already has been three weeks!next doctor's appointment is his 1 month appointment (unless his bilirubin numbers are bad).

2 weeks and 1 day old

yesterday jake turned 2 weeks old. oh, how time flies.

he is still under his birth weight. after paul left i got stressed out and my milk stopped coming in. his jaundice got worse too. :( i've been supplementing him with formula. he is doing MUCH better. i am going back to the doctor's today. hopefully he is doing better.

he is more active now. when he is hungry he crawls up my chest to look for my breast. its crazy because he knows where it is. when he gets there he suck vigorously. is this all instinctive? something in tune with nature? i marvel at this.

i know i will continue to be amazed.

1 week 5 days old

today his umbilical cord came off. we also had a good nursing session this morning. jaundice is gone (yay!)

i've began to find a routine finally. he usually nurses for about 45 minutes (yes, a little long), stays awake for about another 20~30 minutes (we talk and watch TV :P), then he fusses so i feed him again for like 10 minutes and he would sleep for about 4 hours. he is a sound sleeper.

he reminds me of paul. sometimes i get sad when i look at jake's face and imagine how big he will be before he can be in daddy's arms again (which he was most comfortable in). lori bought us some 6 month old clothes and paul said 'he is going to be this big when i come home?' and i realized how long we'll be without him.

its really surreal. he never really fusses so i'm afraid i might forget him somewhere. i guess in a way that's why i am always carrying him around.

week 1

jake turned one week old yesterday. he is such a mellow guy. he just sleeps till he is hungry and fusses with a cute nah nah nah nah instead of crying. i don't know if this is because we co-sleep. basically he has been in either a sling, in someone's arms since birth unless he is in the car seat.

last monday we took him to his first well baby appointment. he still weighed 6 pounds and 2 ounces (weight at the time when we went home) and doctor maglica was not very happy. nor was i but my milk had come in only the day before, so she said that he had probably not been eating at all for four days (!!).

he looked a little yellow so doctor maglica suggested a blood test for jaundice.

his level was 16.7, 19 is considered high. i didn't flip out of course, because i knew it was common in asian babies. a bilirubin blanket was delivered just a couple hours later. he sat in it during the wbc game. a blood test was repeated again which showed that his bilirubin levels went down. it was at 14.5. yay!

i've recovered pretty well. although i am sore i was already up and about the third day.

jake is here!

jake masashi
born 3/17/09 at 6:18 pm
weighing 6 lbs 8 oz and 19.75 inches long.

getting induced tonight!

little apprehension, lots of excitement!

this boy isn't really interested in coming out. i have no pelvic pressure, no back aches, no major braxton hicks (:(). makes me a little nervous but i am calm as ever!

my biggest worry? paul falling asleep and snoring me out of hypnosis. HA!

end of the road

is apporaching. i will be induced on march 16th so he will be born on march 17th if he isn't born by then... so that means i will definitely not be pregnant on the 18th. (well, hopefully :P)

latest NST

was normal. dr. lim didn't mention anything about induction. in a way i was a little disappointed and at the same time relieved! i want to go into labor naturally but that also means that we don't know when (duh, lol) and that does scare me a little bit. my mom's water broke before having any contractions 3 out of 4 times, so i am worried about that, but then it doesn't mean that the same will happen with me. now i have a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen. i actually feel much better when i am walking around.

38w 2d down to the wire...

mmm. last days of pregnancy.

its been a long journey. it has been about 2 years since we decided 'let's let it happen'. well, here he is after many ups and downs.

looking back this pregnancy has been absolutely stressful, in a weird sort of way. i worried about if i was going to miscarry again, paul deployed, i had to move, endured 20 hours of non-stop driving, working (although that wasn't too stressful), worrying about the fur babies during and after the drive back to cali, and through all that he just stayed put, grew, and gave me a pretty easy pregnancy.

hopefully the rest will be that much easier.

pre-eclampsia diagnosis

so its a good thing that it didn't happen at 34w... but they found exactly what they were monitoring me for.

protein in my urine.

it was only +1 but now i have pre-eclampsia.

the doctor suggested that i be induced next week...

its definitely NOT what i want. so i have a week to try to start labor naturally...

but either way baby jake is on his way for sure!

37w

so the doctor says i'm not dilated or effaced yet... which is good because paul won't come home still for another 2 weeks or so...

then auntie joy said patti was born three days after the doctor said that she probably have a week still left to go because she was not dilated or effaced. (hah).

36w

everything is good! i am getting fatigued, i am feel like i'm going to pop (if i over eat lol), and i still do not have stretch marks (yay?)

non stress tests have been good. my blood pressure has been good.

non stress test #2

no news to report! my blood pressure was lower at 130/80. his heart was beating strongly at 150~160.

paul: You want me to send you an Illidian in a box that pops out yelling "YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!"

non stress test, end of hypnobirthing class, last day of work, car seat installation.... omg.

non stress test went fine. no problem. his heartbeat was about 130~160 bpm and the average is 110~160 bpm.

yesterday was the last day of my hypnobirthing class! naturally ellie didn't know why i was being monitored so closely. she felt like the doctor may have been looking for reasons to induce. dr. lim has not said anything of that sort. i have another appointment on friday.

friday is my last day of work and my first days into stay at home mommyhood!

this weekend is my hospital tour and car seat installation.

oo its getting SO CLOSE!

high blood pressure revisited part 3.

so i went to the doctors today for a follow up to my high blood pressure problem....

my blood pressure was 130/90.

5~10 minutes later when i lay on my side it was 107/74.

it went down so the doctor knows i'm doing something right but the range worries him...

so now i am on a non stress test schedule. twice a week... to make sure jake is growing and to make sure he is not under distress because of my change in blood pressure.

A NST may be performed if:

* You sense that the baby is not moving as frequently as usual
* You are overdue
* There is any reason to suspect that the placenta is not functioning adequately
* You are high risk for any other reason

The test can indicate if the baby is not receiving enough oxygen because of placental or umbilical cord problems; it can also indicate other types of fetal distress.

doesn't sound like good news but right now its a just in case kind of thing. i hope that he stays in there (at least for 4 more weeks....)!

34w

fatigue is setting in and i sleep a lot. at least i can sleep. i feel like i have braxton-hicks... but i don't know what they are supposed to be like (lol)... but sometimes i do have a pain that goes away when i relax and i just fall back to sleep.

high blood pressure update

bloodwork came back normal. :)

33w and return of the high blood pressure...

so today i had my 33w appointment. my blood pressure was 140/90 (at rest it was 124/90). doctor lim again told me to stop eating out, but the problem is...

i haven't been eating out. granted, i've been craving to eat out... in the end i never do. for instance i wanted p'dones last night before class. i never got there (i was actually almost late for class, LOL). i wanted mc donalds on my way home but i was in the other lane. i've wanted to go to vince's but i don't want to go by myself. i guess what i do eat regularly is that tamale every saturday and an occasional costco hot dog.

now he told me to cut the salt out at home.

i realized that i have to be very careful about one symptom in general. my vision. one of the symptom is lights, fuzzy vision, etc. which is just how my right vision is already thanks to the retinal detachment.

i'm going back next friday. to make sure my blood pressure is back down.

ugghhh...

hypnosleeping part 3

i was trying to practice 'going to that special place' and deepening instead of using the CD this morning. i over extended my hips last night while i was sleeping and it hurt SO BAD i thought this would be a good opportunity to relax and see what i could do about the pain.

WELL...

i slept in for 2 hours.

the pain is gone.

hypnosleeping part 2

today i fell alseep at 11 am!!!!

hypno... sleeping (lol).

lately i haven't been able to get to the end of my hypnobirthing CD at all. i always fall asleep. this could be at 10pm (when i go to sleep) or yesterday it was at 3pm. its so relaxing.

Shh! Positive birth stories only please. My baby is listening.

so says my hypnobirthing pin... and everywhere i look there are negative messages about birth. its painful, its long, and the ever popular... it sucks but its SO worth it at the end. then there are the birth videos that i've been watching in class. its amazing.

paul made a good point the other day... that the word hypno- put in front of the word -birthing throws people off. i would have to agree with him. what a lot of people know about hypnosis is the stage show type. most of the times its used for laughs. people acting like monkeys, people eating raw onions, people seemingly hypnotized to do things they wouldn't normally would (which is kind of funny to me because i guess having a stress free birthing experience maybe would be something a person wouldn't normally would lol). a lot of people don't know that hypnosis is used in may other things and its hard to surrender to what you don't know.

paul says it would be better if its called 'deep relaxation birthing'. thats what hypnobirthing basically is... and to go into that deep relaxing state, we use hypnosis. we use hypnosis to release our fears about birth itself and to break the fear-tension-pain cycle.

i feel like i should video tape jake's birth so my friends and family can be believers in a safe, easy, and stress free birth. funny, because i was never THAT confident about this... but now i am. i want to share this with EVERYONE.

yes, i didn't say pain free because thats not what they promise. still, birth doesn't have to be agonizing. it can be a WONDERFUL experience.

i've seen it so... i hope to have one too.

32w

the 'maternity' levis i bought at the beginning (a pair just 2 sizes bigger) are now feeling a little tight around the hips which is a GOOD thing. before you give birth your pelvis is supposed to 'open up'. birthing balls are great for doing just that.

i've finally started to get his room ready. well, its our room. lol. i washed all his clothes. they are so small. i really can't believe he'll be here very soon (as soon as a few weeks if he felt like it. just hopefully after the baby shower. :P)

hypnnobirthng class day 2 and finally getting a doula

so through my forgetfulness induced by my pregnancy i finally remembered to call my doula that ellie had recommended. she is also a massage therapist. she is just a trainee so she is a little... 'noobie' (which is seriously the only word i can think of to explain the situation), but she is really nice so i was excited to see her before my hypnobirthing class today.

so we did this crazy exercise called 'glove relaxation'. it was crazy because i didn't know what to expect, yet it worked like it should. it was a exercise were you were 'deepened'. then ellie said some prompts to make your hand 'feel' numb and transfer the numbness to your cheek. my hand indeed felt numb! she does these exercises just to teach us that with the power of the mind that you CAN have a great birthing experience. i was awestruck and i'm even MORE satisfied with the approach i am taking with this birth.

31w

doc appointment today...

i've been given the ok to work up to 36 weeks. ^^

he is also measuring real good (30w 4d @ 31w).

woo.

hypnobirthing class day 1

went great. the class size is small (6 couples) and its full of people who love to laugh and supposedly eat (foodies and drunks (men) all around). many are due about the same time i am. some are home birthing (awww). we got to learn the basics of self hypnosis and birth.

will update tomorrow on the doc appointment. :D

why we don't need to do another 4D ultrasound (according to paul)

paul: i'm fine with just knowing he's good. we can pimp him out later. it's not like I can drop your belly to the ground, put leds on it, and put sub woofers on your butt.

mollie: lol.

paul: it's how my kid rolls. he'll get his power wheels one day, with 5" speakers in the front and back, with a lil box with a 8" sub.

mollie: lol, ok.

paul: unless you want sub woofers on your butt?


... i have NO CLUE what he is thinking. unless we are not on the same page about ultraSOUNDS.

30w 2d

i seem to show no signs of 'slowing down'.... so i am still working.

i mean do i seriously continue working?

i begin my hypnobirthing class next tuesday. i have a doctor's appointment on wednesday.

mollie: so what have u been doing to get rdy for baby? just curious...

paul: getting baaaaaff so i cans carry him

paul: jaaaah

why hypnobirthing?

so as i get closer to welcoming jake in this world i would like the change the tone of the blog from his development(he just needs to get fat now anyway lol) to the birth and why i chose hypnobirthing as my birthing method.

it all begins a long time when i saw this dateline story about hypnosis and birth...





i remember watching this in awe. i mean, it made sense 'naturally' if something was very painful we learn how to 'avoid' it. how can nature intend to want us to 'avoid' that affects our very existence?

so begins my journey into 'freebirthing', birth without medication.

so i did a lot of researching and found this: http://www.hypnobirthing.org. i bought the book last week and i've been relaxing with the CD everyday.