the ultrasound picture link

http://www.flickr.com/photos/naura/2782290195/

10w 5d

a friend on the forums lost her baby. she was at week 10 and her baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. does this make me nervous? hell yes. her due date was a day before mine. i have to remind myself that our baby was healthy at 9 weeks 5 days and it measured what it was supposed to... but reality did kick me in the head. im still not clear till week 13. then the possibility of miscarrying goes down... not 100% down but i can put my mind to a little bit more ease.

this time because there was tangible evidence that the baby was there, we decided to tell everyone and show the ultrasound. it was weird to see this being inside me with its heart beating so hard (183 bpm). i'm glad at least i have a little part of him/her even if something may happen.

week 9

i am still feeling pregnant. i actually had to buy one of those stretchy belly things so i can get back into my jeans. i'm slowly getting my energy back... but that makes me afraid... i don't know if i am reverting back to my 'non-pregnant' self. i worry then i get nausea and i keep more relaxed.

i wish they would have let me go to the doctors for a short ultrasound or even a simple internal Doppler to show me that there is something in there would have been nice, but tricare is a bunch of stingy bastards.

week 8

i'm still a little reluctant to post, but i hit week 8 today. i haven't been feeling good at all but it hasn't been too bad. i just have a lot of gas (which surprisingly does not happen when i drink milk). i'm very optimistic this time. paul was telling me that the last two times i was really uptight and stressed (about the pregnancy) but this time i've just let myself to its thing, we eat whatever (i was obsessed going all organic before) and it seems like its working...

EDIT:

actually this was only week 7 i miscounted week 0 as week 1.

so i have very insane gas, its the same as my first pregnancy (which i am thinking that it is a very good sign because at least the first time i was pregnant till week 10). my second one i didn't have any of this happen, so i guess its a good sign. also i've had no problems and will be going on to week seven starting next monday. i lost the second one at around 6 weeks. 5 weeks to go until my first trimester is over (if uneventful that means we are good to go!)

pregnancy and deployment...

so supposedly paul is supposed to deploy in september, i am not nervous at all, but i am very sad that he may miss the birth. such is his job being a soldier...

third time is the charm ;)