oh noes we've spawned another geek

i'm blogging again! gasp

2010-01-07T09:27:00.000-08:00

this the second day in a row that i am blogging. yep, i am trying to make an attempt everyday.

for those you don't i know i am practicing what they call attachment parenting. i had one of those attachment parenting moments which i wanted to share.

we went to a marriage retreat in denver a few weeks back. jake is a seasoned traveler. he has been to japan at 5 months, flew to houston to see great great auntie harriet, and he also survived a 16 hour road trip from los angeles to here in colorado springs. so this one and a half hour drive and two nights in a hotel should not have phased him.

so much to my surprise, when we went into our hotel room in denver, he got scared and nervous in this new environment. i could see this when i put him down to stretch his legs, he kind of looked to me, looked for reassurance. i went to him and cuddled with him. in about 15 minutes he was his normal self again crawling everywhere in the hotel room and exploring like he loves to do. this kind of experience makes me believe that for us to respond with sensitivity and provide loving and consistent care creates a confident child, not a spoiled child.

my parenting journey at 9.5 months

2010-01-05T12:31:00.000-08:00

i really need to get back to blogging, i have a lot to say, i always end up facebooking it or just sticking it in the back of my mind...

so jake has began to explore everything and i am so amazed at what he is doing. every little thing he has to touch it, look at it, taste it, and absorb it all. at the same time i see him learning, learning to crouch down from a standing position instead of just fall over, learn to vocalize and show what he wants (he comes over and pats my chest when he is hungry), and learn to show that he is displeased instead of just crying (ok he could've skipped this one ok? LOL). now the baby whose whole world was just the living room now explores all over the place. while he explores, we keep an eye out from a safe distance... we still do not have baby gates.

yea, we do not have baby gates. we have items placed strategically placed, like the laundry baskets blocking him from the kitchen... but he wanders back and forth, from the living room, to the dining room, to the bedroom (when we forget to shut the door), and the bathroom (again when we forget to shut the door, but we make sure we close the toilet lid). i don't feel like it is necessary to restrict him from places with a gate. i dunno, its just how i feel.

overwhelmed!

2009-11-28T10:14:00.000-08:00

i really have meant to update. i log on to blogger then i get so overwhelmed with all tat has been happening! so paul got his class date. he unfortunately did not get the MOS he wanted but they made sure he stayed MI (thank goodness) so he got a jack of all trades desk jobber kind of MOS (35F). well he will be at Ft huachuca (:thumbsdown: LOL) for 4 months. automatically i asked him if we could go back to torrance and he said yes! so we'll be in southern california from feburary to june... that means we wil be able to share his first birthday with the whole family! (maybe paul will be able to catch a flight home really quick? i hope so!!!!)

so... for jaker updates! he has been crawling since he was about 6 months old. that means now he knows how to crawl to get to places that he can pull himself up to too! he has been cruising the couch and the coffee table. :( why sad face? because my little man is mobile!!! well, paul and i being the well, whatever happens happens kind of parents, we haven't gotten baby gates yet (haha i know). we keep talking about it.... but no action. he crawls everywhere! he has also started to eat soilds. he loves to eat! i'd say asparagus and sweet potato is his favorite.

yes, its that easy.

2009-09-15T09:14:00.000-07:00

paul said to me at breakfast today, i don't know what the big deal is. i was like hmm? and he said, parenting. i told him, well we've been lucky. you know there are babies that can't be put on the floor like that because they want to be carried? then he simply replied, then why don't they strap them to their chest (aka babywearing)?

hehe.

many people ask us if jake is sleeping through the night. he is not. he still wakes up during the night, sometimes three times a night. people are surprised by this, but i don't have the heart to tell them that i've been co-sleeping with jake since birth and getting quite of bit of good quality sleep. i can't imagine how it would have been if i had to physically wake up to tend to him. i would probably be a zombie right now.

this all could have gone a different path. when he was 2 days old we found out that jake did not like sleeping on a cold sheet, so he wouldn't even sleep in his cosleeper. i was disappointed. i wanted to cosleep with him but i wanted to do it safely of course... but he was happiest tucked in our arms. i could have let him cry it out and tire him to sleep, but my conscience didn't let me so. he has never cried it out. i get plenty of sleep.

guilty.

2009-09-08T22:24:00.000-07:00

i am guilty of not posting. life has been grand lately. also i have some awesome pictures of jake but it is on paul's SD card and i just have to remember to upload them. jake has gotten bigger. he sometimes wears 12 month clothes. i think we are very overwhelmed by how fast he is growing. it blows our mind that he can even fit some 12 month stuff. we forget that he is not even 6 months yet. we went shopping at the outlets and we spent A LOT of money on the little guy, more than we even spend ourselves... and we probably get much more use from whatever we buy. HA. but still paul was captivated by gymboree's pirate dog line (so cute) and the osh kosh b'gosh 50% off sale. we did manage to pick up a pizza stone and a cool criscross cutter that chop carrots in the thai curries (SCORE!).

jake has bonded with dad wonderfully. paul even put him back to sleep when he woke up tonight. there was a little bit of crying, then there he was sleeping. i almost got up and went to nurse him but paull called out that everything is ok... and it was.

honestly? why i cloth diaper.

2009-07-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

jake is 4 months old now. i've been exclusively using cloth for about 3 months now. i really love it. now i can reflect on WHY i love cloth diapering. so here i go.

is it the ecological benefits?

no, not really. i do worry about the amount of water i use to wash the diapers. how can that be resolved? just simply buy more diapers! there are ways that you can keep the stink away and take the stains off the diapers. what is the magic formula? baking soda + good ole sunshine! i can not believe how WELL hanging diapers in the sun gets the stain out... and believe it or not it DRIES the diaper at the same time as well (i know, hard to believe). also on another note, the energy i saved by not drying the diapers in the dryer was a whooping... 10 dollars. i was a little saddened by that but also reinforces the fact that it doesn't cost much to cloth (and i was drying a load every other day).

is it the rashless tooshie?

no, jake still gets rashes because i forget to drink water. :-( i've been trying to get better at it. jake spends a lot of his time nekkid on a towel in the living room. he likes it better that way, and his tooshie feels better too. he hardly fusses when he is naked. also its hard to use butt paste when you are cloth diapering. well, i can buy grandma el's but i have 4 tubes of butt paste i don't want to waste. i am using an old cut up gerber prefold as a liner. i guess that works pretty good. so.... yes jake still gets a rash sometimes but its not the diaper's fault.

is it the cute diaper covers?

maaaybe, but i did not buy the dr seuss bumkins when i sized up. so probably not.

so, what is it then?

in the end i'll have a mountain of cloth diapers and if you use disposables, you'll just have a mountain of trash.

i am totally selfish like that.

almost 4 months

2009-07-13T23:07:00.000-07:00

i can't believe its been 4 months already. he is nicely growing out of his 0~3 months clothes and his diapers! i was not expecting it to be soon but last friday we weighted him in at 16 lbs and thats when his poopie blowouts started. lol. i bought the thirsties duo. i can't wait to try them out! next tuesday is his doctor's appointment and his second round of shots. not really looking forward to that.

he is cutting teeth!

2009-07-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

jake is teething. he is a little fussy, but he is not drooling or anything like that.

Is it the end of august yet?

2009-06-30T15:06:00.000-07:00

some firsts that jake has done the past few days:

rasperries! he had a whole lot of drool and he pfffffft at grandmas. we thought grandma tooted! i tried to get it on camera but he was busy talking to it. he's such a ham.

play date with joshua... the two boys were talking back and forth! lol. its funny because jake just falls asleep when he is around baby girls :D

mothering adventures at three months old

2009-06-22T06:08:00.000-07:00

three months. i can't believe its already been a quarter of a year since jake was born. i must admit, i have it pretty easy. jake has been easy... but he is starting to show signs that it that all may change in a few months!

about two weeks ago he started to get very active, socially and physically. he started to notice the differences in people's faces. it was so funny because my dad was holding him when this happened. jake just stared at my dad and then within seconds he was crying. i think jake was the one most surprised of it all. i was worried that he had gotten separation anxiety or something like that but few hours later he was back to his normal self. my dad and i were awestruck. we felt like we just witnessed his cognitive skills developing. now he stares at me when someone else is holding him.... he has this 'hey if mommy is over there who is this holding me?' kind of look on his face.

so he rolled over tummy to back two weeks ago (right and left) and hasn't done it again since. :P thank goodness i got it on video! lol. it does seem like he was just showing off. haha. now his new thing is kicking, kicking, and more kicking. kicking during diaper changes (ugh), kicking while i hold him, kicking during tummy time. maybe thats why he doesn't roll over anymore. hm... interesting.

i think the biggest issue that has come to my attention is how socially unaccepted breastfeeding is!! its been so hard to nurse jake in public. i am lucky to have been blessed with a wonderful family (both sides) that accept breastfeeding (even my brother doesn't mind. yeah!) as being 'natural' but i've read that some families are not. yes, i've had to nurse him in a bathroom in a public sports venue. it was a 'family bathroom' but i had to sit on the toilet (yuck). another thing i thought, that it was a simple matter of choosing between the breastmik or formula but its not. a lot of mothers 'give up' for one reason or another even though they want to breastfeed. some doctors even advise patients to wean before the baby is 1 year old which is against the recommendation of the american association of pediatrics.

another thing i really realize until i actually started doing was how easy cloth diapering is... but i think some diaper companies are capitalizing on how scary diving into cloth diapering can be and selling all in ones when prefolds are so easy to use.

easy to fussy in a day

2009-06-03T14:08:00.000-07:00

lately jake has become fussy. i think he is beginning to know what works for him and what doesn't. now he has prerequisites to falling asleep. he needs to be swaddled or tucked in my arms. its funny, when he is tucked in my arms i feel him sweep his feet on my thigh as if he is making sure i am there. i would leave to go do something and if he is not completely asleep he will wake up within half an hour. he won't fall asleep just being on the breast anymore.

first cold (2 months and 1 week)

2009-05-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

he was just sneezing and coughing. i thought it was just allergies... so he got his shots and BAM! he had a cold. he never had a fever. i'm just wondering if it was his slightly lowered immune system from the shots made it worse than it really was.

doctor's appointment

2009-05-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

jake weighs 10lbs 13oz now!

lol. i can't believe it.

2 months!

2009-05-17T10:54:00.000-07:00

jake is 2 months old today! i weighed him last week and he was 10 lbs (but it was after a feeding)! he has been feeling heavier to me, and that is crazy because i hold him everyday. he has a doctor's appointment on tuesday.

some of his developmental milestones so far...

he did the mini push up - once.
his neck is so strong. he can hold his head up and look around.
he can turn from side to back. i THINK he turned from side to stomach but i think katie helped him (lol).
he sleeps about 3~4 hours at a time, sometimes 5.
he can turn his head from side to side while on his stomach. he is so funny because he would fuss during tummy time and even if his neck is tired he keeps trying to turn his head!
he coos, but not a lot. i don't know if he is smiling or if he is gassy. (maybe both :P)

wow.

2009-05-11T11:17:00.000-07:00

time goes by so fast. i was looking at some old pictures (ok only 2 months ago). i can't believe that he was still in my belly then. i still marvel over everything. conception, the miracle of birth, and this tiny, helpless being we brought into this world. it maybe cliche, but seriously he is my bundle of joy. i feel so happy holding himthis feeling is so wonderful even when he is waking you up in the middle of the night, fussy with no consoling in sight, or peeing on you for the 10th time.

6 weeks 1 day

2009-04-30T12:34:00.001-07:00

ooo its so exciting... when i give jake tummy time, he almost seems like he can turn from belly to back! he lifts his leg and looks like he can make it... but not yet. not quite.

5 weeks 2 days and growing...

2009-04-23T12:03:00.000-07:00

so i put jake in his newborn size sleeper and he is just barely fitting into them now! his toes fit in the foot perfectly, sometimes its a little bit tight (when he stretches his legs out). since i look at him everyday its hard for me to see how fast he is growing. this morning i was surprised (its only been like 3 days since i put him in a sleeper the same size). i'm hoping that maybe it shrank *lol*. my little man is growing so fast!

1 month old

2009-04-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

jake is a month old today!! i can't believe how time goes by so fast (i seem to be repeating myself every week).

gassy baby.

2009-04-09T15:36:00.000-07:00

jake is gassy all of a sudden. he has been eating formula and breastmilk for the last 2 weeks so the only thing i can think of is that it maybe something in my diet... particularly cow's milk.

i'm going to miss you milk, but its for the sake of my baby's tummy.

parents will be parents.

2009-04-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

naura ...: ugh
naura ...: one day a girl is going to steal his heart
socalyonsei: she better be hot and have money =X
naura ...: ha
socalyonsei: she better make cute grandkids
naura ...: hehehe

3 weeks

2009-04-07T16:23:00.000-07:00

jake is 3 weeks old today!

2 weeks and 6 days old

2009-04-06T14:25:00.000-07:00

jake got weighed today and he was 7 lbs!!! i did read the last post and yes, he was 6 lbs and 4 oz then. that means that he gained 12 oz in about a week. dr maglica was very happy. i started to use the cloth diapers. he is definitely fitting snug in his newborn clothes now.

still, its interesting that paul was still bigger than jake is right now when he was born. its weird to think about that. there was a baby that was 9 lbs 11 oz in the nursery when jake was getting his blood tests. he does have a lot of growing to do, and this is a great start.

i can't believe it already has been three weeks!next doctor's appointment is his 1 month appointment (unless his bilirubin numbers are bad).

2 weeks and 1 day old

2009-04-01T07:55:00.000-07:00

yesterday jake turned 2 weeks old. oh, how time flies.

he is still under his birth weight. after paul left i got stressed out and my milk stopped coming in. his jaundice got worse too. :( i've been supplementing him with formula. he is doing MUCH better. i am going back to the doctor's today. hopefully he is doing better.

he is more active now. when he is hungry he crawls up my chest to look for my breast. its crazy because he knows where it is. when he gets there he suck vigorously. is this all instinctive? something in tune with nature? i marvel at this.

i know i will continue to be amazed.

1 week 5 days old

2009-03-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

today his umbilical cord came off. we also had a good nursing session this morning. jaundice is gone (yay!)

i've began to find a routine finally. he usually nurses for about 45 minutes (yes, a little long), stays awake for about another 20~30 minutes (we talk and watch TV :P), then he fusses so i feed him again for like 10 minutes and he would sleep for about 4 hours. he is a sound sleeper.

he reminds me of paul. sometimes i get sad when i look at jake's face and imagine how big he will be before he can be in daddy's arms again (which he was most comfortable in). lori bought us some 6 month old clothes and paul said 'he is going to be this big when i come home?' and i realized how long we'll be without him.

its really surreal. he never really fusses so i'm afraid i might forget him somewhere. i guess in a way that's why i am always carrying him around.

week 1

2009-03-25T08:31:00.000-07:00

jake turned one week old yesterday. he is such a mellow guy. he just sleeps till he is hungry and fusses with a cute nah nah nah nah instead of crying. i don't know if this is because we co-sleep. basically he has been in either a sling, in someone's arms since birth unless he is in the car seat.

last monday we took him to his first well baby appointment. he still weighed 6 pounds and 2 ounces (weight at the time when we went home) and doctor maglica was not very happy. nor was i but my milk had come in only the day before, so she said that he had probably not been eating at all for four days (!!).

he looked a little yellow so doctor maglica suggested a blood test for jaundice.

his level was 16.7, 19 is considered high. i didn't flip out of course, because i knew it was common in asian babies. a bilirubin blanket was delivered just a couple hours later. he sat in it during the wbc game. a blood test was repeated again which showed that his bilirubin levels went down. it was at 14.5. yay!

i've recovered pretty well. although i am sore i was already up and about the third day.

2009-03-20T17:01:00.000-07:00

jake is here!

jake masashi
born 3/17/09 at 6:18 pm
weighing 6 lbs 8 oz and 19.75 inches long.

getting induced tonight!

2009-03-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

little apprehension, lots of excitement!

this boy isn't really interested in coming out. i have no pelvic pressure, no back aches, no major braxton hicks (:(). makes me a little nervous but i am calm as ever!

my biggest worry? paul falling asleep and snoring me out of hypnosis. HA!

end of the road

2009-03-11T10:03:00.000-07:00

is apporaching. i will be induced on march 16th so he will be born on march 17th if he isn't born by then... so that means i will definitely not be pregnant on the 18th. (well, hopefully :P)

latest NST

2009-03-07T20:25:00.000-08:00

was normal. dr. lim didn't mention anything about induction. in a way i was a little disappointed and at the same time relieved! i want to go into labor naturally but that also means that we don't know when (duh, lol) and that does scare me a little bit. my mom's water broke before having any contractions 3 out of 4 times, so i am worried about that, but then it doesn't mean that the same will happen with me. now i have a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen. i actually feel much better when i am walking around.

38w 2d down to the wire...

2009-03-06T10:04:00.000-08:00

mmm. last days of pregnancy.

its been a long journey. it has been about 2 years since we decided 'let's let it happen'. well, here he is after many ups and downs.

looking back this pregnancy has been absolutely stressful, in a weird sort of way. i worried about if i was going to miscarry again, paul deployed, i had to move, endured 20 hours of non-stop driving, working (although that wasn't too stressful), worrying about the fur babies during and after the drive back to cali, and through all that he just stayed put, grew, and gave me a pretty easy pregnancy.

hopefully the rest will be that much easier.

pre-eclampsia diagnosis

2009-03-03T17:52:00.000-08:00

so its a good thing that it didn't happen at 34w... but they found exactly what they were monitoring me for.

protein in my urine.

it was only +1 but now i have pre-eclampsia.

the doctor suggested that i be induced next week...

its definitely NOT what i want. so i have a week to try to start labor naturally...

but either way baby jake is on his way for sure!

37w

2009-02-25T18:06:00.000-08:00

so the doctor says i'm not dilated or effaced yet... which is good because paul won't come home still for another 2 weeks or so...

then auntie joy said patti was born three days after the doctor said that she probably have a week still left to go because she was not dilated or effaced. (hah).

36w

2009-02-18T10:26:00.000-08:00

everything is good! i am getting fatigued, i am feel like i'm going to pop (if i over eat lol), and i still do not have stretch marks (yay?)

non stress tests have been good. my blood pressure has been good.

non stress test #2

2009-02-13T19:03:00.000-08:00

no news to report! my blood pressure was lower at 130/80. his heart was beating strongly at 150~160.

2009-02-11T19:30:00.001-08:00

paul: You want me to send you an Illidian in a box that pops out yelling "YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!"

non stress test, end of hypnobirthing class, last day of work, car seat installation.... omg.

2009-02-11T11:00:00.000-08:00

non stress test went fine. no problem. his heartbeat was about 130~160 bpm and the average is 110~160 bpm.

yesterday was the last day of my hypnobirthing class! naturally ellie didn't know why i was being monitored so closely. she felt like the doctor may have been looking for reasons to induce. dr. lim has not said anything of that sort. i have another appointment on friday.

friday is my last day of work and my first days into stay at home mommyhood!

this weekend is my hospital tour and car seat installation.

oo its getting SO CLOSE!

high blood pressure revisited part 3.

2009-02-06T18:07:00.000-08:00

so i went to the doctors today for a follow up to my high blood pressure problem....

my blood pressure was 130/90.

5~10 minutes later when i lay on my side it was 107/74.

it went down so the doctor knows i'm doing something right but the range worries him...

so now i am on a non stress test schedule. twice a week... to make sure jake is growing and to make sure he is not under distress because of my change in blood pressure.

A NST may be performed if:

* You sense that the baby is not moving as frequently as usual
* You are overdue
* There is any reason to suspect that the placenta is not functioning adequately
* You are high risk for any other reason

The test can indicate if the baby is not receiving enough oxygen because of placental or umbilical cord problems; it can also indicate other types of fetal distress.

doesn't sound like good news but right now its a just in case kind of thing. i hope that he stays in there (at least for 4 more weeks....)!

34w

2009-02-04T08:58:00.000-08:00

fatigue is setting in and i sleep a lot. at least i can sleep. i feel like i have braxton-hicks... but i don't know what they are supposed to be like (lol)... but sometimes i do have a pain that goes away when i relax and i just fall back to sleep.

high blood pressure update

2009-01-29T18:28:00.000-08:00

bloodwork came back normal. :)

33w and return of the high blood pressure...

2009-01-28T13:09:00.000-08:00

so today i had my 33w appointment. my blood pressure was 140/90 (at rest it was 124/90). doctor lim again told me to stop eating out, but the problem is...

i haven't been eating out. granted, i've been craving to eat out... in the end i never do. for instance i wanted p'dones last night before class. i never got there (i was actually almost late for class, LOL). i wanted mc donalds on my way home but i was in the other lane. i've wanted to go to vince's but i don't want to go by myself. i guess what i do eat regularly is that tamale every saturday and an occasional costco hot dog.

now he told me to cut the salt out at home.

i realized that i have to be very careful about one symptom in general. my vision. one of the symptom is lights, fuzzy vision, etc. which is just how my right vision is already thanks to the retinal detachment.

i'm going back next friday. to make sure my blood pressure is back down.

ugghhh...

hypnosleeping part 3

2009-01-27T10:44:00.000-08:00

i was trying to practice 'going to that special place' and deepening instead of using the CD this morning. i over extended my hips last night while i was sleeping and it hurt SO BAD i thought this would be a good opportunity to relax and see what i could do about the pain.

WELL...

i slept in for 2 hours.

the pain is gone.

hypnosleeping part 2

2009-01-24T20:35:00.000-08:00

today i fell alseep at 11 am!!!!

hypno... sleeping (lol).

2009-01-23T09:24:00.000-08:00

lately i haven't been able to get to the end of my hypnobirthing CD at all. i always fall asleep. this could be at 10pm (when i go to sleep) or yesterday it was at 3pm. its so relaxing.

Shh! Positive birth stories only please. My baby is listening.

2009-01-22T21:55:00.000-08:00

so says my hypnobirthing pin... and everywhere i look there are negative messages about birth. its painful, its long, and the ever popular... it sucks but its SO worth it at the end. then there are the birth videos that i've been watching in class. its amazing.

paul made a good point the other day... that the word hypno- put in front of the word -birthing throws people off. i would have to agree with him. what a lot of people know about hypnosis is the stage show type. most of the times its used for laughs. people acting like monkeys, people eating raw onions, people seemingly hypnotized to do things they wouldn't normally would (which is kind of funny to me because i guess having a stress free birthing experience maybe would be something a person wouldn't normally would lol). a lot of people don't know that hypnosis is used in may other things and its hard to surrender to what you don't know.

paul says it would be better if its called 'deep relaxation birthing'. thats what hypnobirthing basically is... and to go into that deep relaxing state, we use hypnosis. we use hypnosis to release our fears about birth itself and to break the fear-tension-pain cycle.

i feel like i should video tape jake's birth so my friends and family can be believers in a safe, easy, and stress free birth. funny, because i was never THAT confident about this... but now i am. i want to share this with EVERYONE.

yes, i didn't say pain free because thats not what they promise. still, birth doesn't have to be agonizing. it can be a WONDERFUL experience.

i've seen it so... i hope to have one too.

32w

2009-01-21T10:32:00.001-08:00

the 'maternity' levis i bought at the beginning (a pair just 2 sizes bigger) are now feeling a little tight around the hips which is a GOOD thing. before you give birth your pelvis is supposed to 'open up'. birthing balls are great for doing just that.

i've finally started to get his room ready. well, its our room. lol. i washed all his clothes. they are so small. i really can't believe he'll be here very soon (as soon as a few weeks if he felt like it. just hopefully after the baby shower. :P)

hypnnobirthng class day 2 and finally getting a doula

2009-01-20T22:50:00.000-08:00

so through my forgetfulness induced by my pregnancy i finally remembered to call my doula that ellie had recommended. she is also a massage therapist. she is just a trainee so she is a little... 'noobie' (which is seriously the only word i can think of to explain the situation), but she is really nice so i was excited to see her before my hypnobirthing class today.

so we did this crazy exercise called 'glove relaxation'. it was crazy because i didn't know what to expect, yet it worked like it should. it was a exercise were you were 'deepened'. then ellie said some prompts to make your hand 'feel' numb and transfer the numbness to your cheek. my hand indeed felt numb! she does these exercises just to teach us that with the power of the mind that you CAN have a great birthing experience. i was awestruck and i'm even MORE satisfied with the approach i am taking with this birth.

31w

2009-01-14T12:30:00.000-08:00

doc appointment today...

i've been given the ok to work up to 36 weeks. ^^

he is also measuring real good (30w 4d @ 31w).

woo.

hypnobirthing class day 1

2009-01-13T22:36:00.000-08:00

went great. the class size is small (6 couples) and its full of people who love to laugh and supposedly eat (foodies and drunks (men) all around). many are due about the same time i am. some are home birthing (awww). we got to learn the basics of self hypnosis and birth.

will update tomorrow on the doc appointment. :D

why we don't need to do another 4D ultrasound (according to paul)

2009-01-12T19:29:00.000-08:00

paul: i'm fine with just knowing he's good. we can pimp him out later. it's not like I can drop your belly to the ground, put leds on it, and put sub woofers on your butt.

mollie: lol.

paul: it's how my kid rolls. he'll get his power wheels one day, with 5" speakers in the front and back, with a lil box with a 8" sub.

mollie: lol, ok.

paul: unless you want sub woofers on your butt?

... i have NO CLUE what he is thinking. unless we are not on the same page about ultraSOUNDS.

30w 2d

2009-01-09T10:48:00.000-08:00

i seem to show no signs of 'slowing down'.... so i am still working.

i mean do i seriously continue working?

i begin my hypnobirthing class next tuesday. i have a doctor's appointment on wednesday.

2009-01-07T19:33:00.000-08:00

mollie: so what have u been doing to get rdy for baby? just curious...

paul: getting baaaaaff so i cans carry him

paul: jaaaah

why hypnobirthing?

2009-01-03T13:09:00.000-08:00

so as i get closer to welcoming jake in this world i would like the change the tone of the blog from his development(he just needs to get fat now anyway lol) to the birth and why i chose hypnobirthing as my birthing method.

it all begins a long time when i saw this dateline story about hypnosis and birth...

i remember watching this in awe. i mean, it made sense 'naturally' if something was very painful we learn how to 'avoid' it. how can nature intend to want us to 'avoid' that affects our very existence?

so begins my journey into 'freebirthing', birth without medication.

so i did a lot of researching and found this: http://www.hypnobirthing.org. i bought the book last week and i've been relaxing with the CD everyday.

OB appointment update

2008-12-31T11:03:00.001-08:00

so everything is good and i only gained the allotted 2 pounds in the last 2 weeks (something sort of a miracle lol). jake is measuring 27~28 weeks @ 29 weeks. that 6 pounds i gained in 3 weeks may have been a growth spurt on jake's part. i remember that i was worried that he was never going to catch up but he has and he is doing great. i am going to get an ultrasound again my next appointment. YAY!

uh oh. 29w

2008-12-31T09:10:00.000-08:00

its finally happened... i get out of breath doing 'regular' things. i walked katie and i started picking my pace up. then OMG! i'm out of breath! all the food i ate for christmas is catching up to me! i'm going to be in so much trouble at the OB today. lol will update later.

i am a multiple miscarriage survivor.

2008-12-26T21:03:00.000-08:00

when jake is born it would be a 2 year journey, full of ups and downs... truthfully more downs than up. i can't believe its been that long since we decided to expand our family.

i can't believe its finally happening.

28w 2d

2008-12-26T12:55:00.000-08:00

i'm still doing ok... actually i am doing fantastic. i read a lot about *this week you may have this symptom or that symptom*... but i've been symptom free. i even SLEEP well. i do toss and turn but i get more than 5 hours of sleep. sometimes i feel a little sad that i am not having these 'symptoms'. i feel like i am being cheated on the whole 'pregnancy experience'. i still have *at least* two months to go. maybe it will hit me. until then i will feel fantastic.

27w 1d

2008-12-18T10:20:00.000-08:00

i really need a new scale, a precise one in the house. just before i left for the doctor's office i weighed myself at 150 (no weight gain) then at the doctor's office i was 156!! i've already gained 20 pounds from my original weight and i still have 2 months of 'fattening up'. i look small, so i don't know where its all going. my blood pressure has been good and i've been hungry ALL DAY. hungry for sweet, salty, fruits, ice cream, whatever i can put my hands on. i blamed jake for it and the doctor laughed at me. he just said watch what you eat! sigh. i know i haven't been the best mommy this past month. so... i've been swearing to myself to eat better!

he is moving SO much more lately and he has been moving almost 24/7. (as i write this tho, he is sleeping. hah). he gave me a HUGE kick last night that made me wake up as i was nodding off to sleep while watching an episode of dinner: IMPOSSIBLE. i think he IS small. i haven't gotten any of that rib hurting stretches from him that i keep hearing from my friends who are due about the same time as me.

2008-12-13T10:02:00.001-08:00

i did end up going to work all week. it seemed like he was just stuck upside down and pushing down on me. there was a lot of kicking and flailing. now its back to the way it was. no pain. not a lot of kicking like that day, but still kickin.

less than 100 days to go. then...

2008-12-09T11:07:00.000-08:00

i feel a bit crampy in my lower abdomen. its not bothering me too much except the fact that i don't know if i should work or not so i am waiting for dr. lim to call me back. i know its probably gas from eating all that pineapple the other day (but seriously, i couldn't stop. haha). i can't believe that we've come this far already.

its weird because paul and i are very 'go with the flow' with the whole parenting thing. we haven't really read any parenting books (some people we know have had stacks of them). i am wondering if everything is going to be ok... lol.

2008-12-07T10:39:00.001-08:00

paul's take on parenting the first few months:

Paul: just need a place for him to sleep, and things to wear
Paul: You supply the food
Mollie: lol
Paul: I guess diapers would be good tho
Paul: and when he opens his eyes and starts to roam, then we can worry about toys, and other stimuli
Mollie: babies are born with their eyes open honey
Paul: o?
Paul: doh.
Paul: ok I r n00b leave me be!
Mollie: lol. he will come out and look at you and he'll be like o sheet
Paul: well then I better get a hair cut before I arrive =X
Paul: First impressions are everything you know ;)

25w 1d

2008-12-04T08:14:00.000-08:00

there are days that he kicks a lot and there are days that he just sleeps. i get nervous when he isn't moving, but i guess he is like his mommy and he likes to sleep for long hours.

update update

2008-11-26T18:37:00.000-08:00

my blood pressure was 107/73.

i was cutting salt all day yesterday and today.

i'm going to continue to do so. thank goodness its something that can be controlled by diet!

23w 6d/24w

2008-11-25T19:22:00.000-08:00

so... update:

my blood pressure was 130/90 (aka high). the doctor took it 3 separate times and it was the same. now i need to monitor it daily. if it hits 150/100 (any number) its a trip to the doctors (as you can see the DIA numbers are close).

i had hypertension before when i was younger. it was diet controlled. lately i've been able to eat whatever i want but it never got high... until now.

i'm in a panic which is probably the worse thing i can do for myself right now. i've been telling everyone instead of internalizing it because i believe it will help with the stress i'm feeling. i'm reading up on everything. when you get high blood pressure before 30 weeks its not a good sign. i'm only at 24 weeks. i may get hospitalized if my blood pressure hits 160/110 before 34 weeks. jake may have to come early via C section...

so anyway i'm watching my salt intake closely. i promised my sister i'll take her out to lunch and dinner so today is the day i lower my salt intake. already i said no to processed cheese and sauce at in n out. i only ate half the fries. i've been drinking water. hopefully the slight rise in blood pressure controlled by diet is all i have to look forward to.

22w 2d

2008-11-14T19:01:00.000-08:00

i thought it was funny... 22w and 2d 222 :P

i'm doing good.

just the normal stuff.

doctor's appointment (20w 6d)

2008-11-05T09:19:00.000-08:00

went great! nothing really to report. lol. we did a quick ultrasound and talked about induction which he said could be done when paul gets here if needed be (although that will be a last minute thing if he doesn't want to come out when dad's around).

20w 3d

2008-11-01T03:35:00.000-07:00

jake is getting more active and i am getting more inactive. although i still enjoy running around with the kids i find myself stopping to catch my breath more often. all my eating has been working and i think i gained too much (so much for worrying). i was weighing 150 at soleado... my target weight is 146. i AM running around still so i figure its ok but i need to lay off on the chocolates (which i seem to be wanting a lot of). also it sucked that it was halloween and we got 1 kid that came by this year so i have a lot of candy just sitting here next to me. i am going to stay away from them!! Tuesday is my 20 week appointment. i learn the results of my california state genetics testing, and my blood test... so i'll update then!

19w 4d

2008-10-26T11:21:00.001-07:00

i've been trying to eat. so i eat eat eat. then i sit sit sit (because for some reason EVERYONE tells me i need to sit). i feel fine. i'll sit if i don't feel fine. lol.

next week will be the half way point! to think jake really needs to do now is grow. :o

i've been getting nervous about becoming a parent. i am ready as i can be emotionally and physically but here are some things i can't even being to imagine...

how many 0~3 3~6 6~9 9~12 month onesies do i 'really' need (since they may grow out of it really fast)?

is organic 'really' what i need for them to wear?

is hypnobirthing truly the way to go?

what if cloth diapering is the wrong way to go?

and the answers are right there, i KNOW what the answers are... i just can't... i don't know, begin to think. i get overwhelmed... but still have 4 months to sort everything out. hopefully thats enough time.

measuring small and other worries

2008-10-21T08:52:00.000-07:00

well like i said in the last post, jake was measuring small. of course the cause can be anything... but i feel like i am at fault too. i've been stressed out about eating healthier so sometimes i don't eat at all. if i am hungry for mc donalds i just drive by. if i am hungry for pie or ice cream i just skip my craving so i can get home and eat something healthier... but in the end rice and okazu is not what jake wants and i end up not eating. i am trying to believe that jake knows what is good for him and i need to give in... but its not so easy. i've been craving mostly sweets (when i do crave which is not often) and i worry about gestational diabetes. i try to count calories now and it is hard for me to get 2,300~2,500 that i am supposed to... i don't even get to 2,000 sometimes.

its funny because paul can never decide what to eat and neither can i. we sometimes drive around for an hour trying to see what looks good to us and finally we stop by a mc donalds (because its the closest thing to post). lol. so even with three of us that means we'll never be able to decide what we want to eat when we go out.

i also found out that paul will be coming in early march. that means he can definitely be here for the birth... but it also can mean that if jake is not measuring where he should be there is a chance that i wouldn't be able to be induced to have him while he is here (i have to ask dr. lim)...

goodness kid, you're already making this hard on me.

IT'S A BOY!

2008-10-17T10:31:00.000-07:00

Jake Masashi is measuring a little small at 7 ounces. the adjusted due date is march 22nd 2008.

18w

2008-10-15T23:06:00.000-07:00

paul wants to know the sex of the baby so i will be making an appointment tomorrow to get an ultrasound package!

17w 2d

2008-10-10T12:59:00.001-07:00

baby is moving and i can feel it. its weird.

15w 5d

2008-09-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

first day of work.

YAY!

i took a short shift so i can ease back into going back to work. hopefully i won't get too tired.

first doctors appointment.

2008-09-23T21:39:00.000-07:00

went very good. i got a pap (eww... but wasn't bad at all), a short glimpse of the baby (baby was moving... YAY!), talked about my history with the doctor, and he gave me the ok to go to work (YAY!).

i signed a think that said i will most likely be giving birth at little company of mary (YAY!).

i also gave 2 big vials of blood and 3 small vials of blood. i don't feel good right now. i drank some grape juice and water but i still feel pretty tired.

now i just need to find a scanner to scan the ultrasound picture.

14w 4d

2008-09-21T11:40:00.001-07:00

this tuesday is my first 'offical' OB appointment. my doctor's name is dr. lim. his partner dr. ito delivered my younger sister. her partner (who retired) dr. yamanaka delivered the older little sister, my brother and me! so this is really exciting. i hope to deliver at little company of mary where paul and i were both born 28 years ago. if the doctor gives the ok i will be going back to work (another YAY!)

i have a little bump now and i will take a picture and post it later. i still think it just looks like belly fat. >:/ i am feeling good except when i over eat and i can easily avoid that.

will update again after doctors appointment!

deep inside...

2008-09-14T19:33:00.000-07:00

i was reading the thread on baby high heels on the military girlfriends website and i THOUGHT i could say no... but i couldn't. if it was in any other color than that nasty magenta i would buy it. at 35 dollars a pair? i would still buy it. i would also get her a pretty black dress and a pretty black purse. i think it would look so cute. i never thought i would say this but i would love to have a little girl.

i would put my little girl in pretty dresses. i would do her hair. i don't necessarily need to make her look 16 or 17 at the age of 5.... but i still think girls in dresses are cute. girls with pig tails and braids are cute.

i love watching roman holiday. i love audrey hepburn. thats how i would want my girl to grow up. i want my girl to look girly and chic. she would be confident, independent and slightly rebellious. like princess ann.

one problem though. i am not anything like that.

13w 4d

2008-09-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

nothing really to report again but i am showing more and hopefully in the coming weeks i will look more pregnant (haha) i just got my referral with my PCM on friday so in the next few weeks i should be having my *first* official appointment with an OB/GYN.

now it is kind of uncomfortable to sleep on my back and i toss and turn. after i go to the bathroom i still feel like i need to go. i have just about 6 more months to go :)

12w 4d

2008-09-07T11:46:00.000-07:00

i am doing pretty good. nausea (whatever i had of it) is gone and i'm not too tired (i don't need that midday nap anymore). i still can't distinguish movement from gas (which i *still* have). nothing much to report now. hopefully i'll be able to see the sex in the next few weeks. personally i don't want to know.... but i think its important to tell paul. :P

11 w 1d

2008-08-29T03:23:00.000-07:00

i felt the baby really move for the first time yesterday. i was sleeping on my side on the floor and there was a feeling like butterflies fluttering in my side. i haven't felt it since then but its the most weirdest thing.

in utero name

2008-08-26T14:50:00.000-07:00

the consensus amongst everyone seems to be 'paullie'

the ultrasound picture link

2008-08-25T14:12:00.001-07:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/naura/2782290195/

10w 5d

2008-08-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

a friend on the forums lost her baby. she was at week 10 and her baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. does this make me nervous? hell yes. her due date was a day before mine. i have to remind myself that our baby was healthy at 9 weeks 5 days and it measured what it was supposed to... but reality did kick me in the head. im still not clear till week 13. then the possibility of miscarrying goes down... not 100% down but i can put my mind to a little bit more ease.

this time because there was tangible evidence that the baby was there, we decided to tell everyone and show the ultrasound. it was weird to see this being inside me with its heart beating so hard (183 bpm). i'm glad at least i have a little part of him/her even if something may happen.

week 9

2008-08-16T15:53:00.000-07:00

i am still feeling pregnant. i actually had to buy one of those stretchy belly things so i can get back into my jeans. i'm slowly getting my energy back... but that makes me afraid... i don't know if i am reverting back to my 'non-pregnant' self. i worry then i get nausea and i keep more relaxed.

i wish they would have let me go to the doctors for a short ultrasound or even a simple internal Doppler to show me that there is something in there would have been nice, but tricare is a bunch of stingy bastards.

week 8

2008-07-29T20:25:00.000-07:00

i'm still a little reluctant to post, but i hit week 8 today. i haven't been feeling good at all but it hasn't been too bad. i just have a lot of gas (which surprisingly does not happen when i drink milk). i'm very optimistic this time. paul was telling me that the last two times i was really uptight and stressed (about the pregnancy) but this time i've just let myself to its thing, we eat whatever (i was obsessed going all organic before) and it seems like its working...

EDIT:

actually this was only week 7 i miscounted week 0 as week 1.

2008-07-19T19:22:00.000-07:00

so i have very insane gas, its the same as my first pregnancy (which i am thinking that it is a very good sign because at least the first time i was pregnant till week 10). my second one i didn't have any of this happen, so i guess its a good sign. also i've had no problems and will be going on to week seven starting next monday. i lost the second one at around 6 weeks. 5 weeks to go until my first trimester is over (if uneventful that means we are good to go!)

2008-07-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

pregnancy and deployment...

so supposedly paul is supposed to deploy in september, i am not nervous at all, but i am very sad that he may miss the birth. such is his job being a soldier...

2008-07-11T21:20:00.001-07:00

third time is the charm ;)

2007-11-26T07:59:00.000-08:00

new baby is due july 22, 2008. we haven't told a lot of people... except at work people are guessing that i am pregnant! seeesh!

2007-11-17T08:09:00.000-08:00

positive!

2007-06-20T14:56:00.000-07:00

its gone. i am not pregnant anymore. the doctor said that the fetus wasn't viable. since there is nothing wrong with me that i can try again. and we will.

2007-06-19T15:11:00.000-07:00

we most likely have lost the baby. we will know for sure tomorrow when i do the next blood test if pregnancy hormones are going down. please don't call us.

i went to the doctor and he told me although my cervix wasn't open, my uterus is too small for me to be 10 weeks pregnant.

since i don't have anything wrong with my body he thinks that there might have been something wrong with the fetus itself.

last night the dog was acting weird, paul's mom called, there was something in the air. some bad vibe. i caught it. :(

2007-06-18T15:23:00.001-07:00

i started bleeding today. i am very scared for the little life inside me. the doctor says it sometimes happens. its abnormal but it could happen. so far i haven't seen any kind of tissue with the blood, although i did pass something it looked like a clot. i also haven't been cramping badly either. i went to evans to take blood and urine sample tests. this will tell us exactly what is going on with my body.

2007-06-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

10w1d belly pic

2007-06-13T22:13:00.000-07:00

here comes week 10!

i haven't gained weight in numbers... but my weight has shifted from my thighs to my middle. i can't fit into my levi's anymore. /pout its kind of crazy what kind of change my body is going through. i'm a quarter of the way done already! its still not going by as fast as i want it to be... :P

2007-06-11T20:58:00.001-07:00

2007-06-08T09:52:00.000-07:00

one of paul's buddies lost his son at 14 weeks yesterday. his wife just went into labor and they couldn't do anything about it. they had JUST found out the sex of the baby 2 days before. it's a wake up call for me because i HAVEN'T been feeling sick i feel like i've been doing stuff i shouldn't. i.e. cartwheel yesterday at work to impress the kids. or even THINKING that i MIGHT be able to climb pikes peak with paul's unit. i will be at the summit waiting for him instead (which i don't even know if i could because of the lack of oxygen up there).

i found out that one of paul's other buddies wife is also pregnant.... and our due dates are only THREE days different!!! her husband also coaches a T-ball team with paul. i'm really excited to be able to share this experience with someone else here in colorado.

2007-06-07T09:35:00.000-07:00

http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/calendar/week9

OH joy. little one has begun urinating in my uterus... YUCK! hahaha.

well, its been 9 weeks. the days are still going by so slow... we want to meet the baby sooooo bad but we still have 29~31 weeks to wait. BOO. i'm feeling wonderful. no cravings or morning sickness still... when we were trying to decide what to eat for lunch the other day i seriously had no pereference. so paul said WILL YOU FEEL MORE PREGNANT ALREADY??

2007-06-03T21:06:00.000-07:00

some reasons why i am going to be a crazy mom:

i have TONs of questions when i take katie to the vet.
i check katie's teeth regularly to make sure they have come in (and she now has 3 little cute teeth where there was a gap)
i freaked out because i felt so immature and childish while watching pokemon.
i analyze katie's temprament.

FYI who do not know katie is our aussie shepherd/cattle dog mix.

katie is the cutest dog in the world (to me anyway).

2007-05-31T05:30:00.000-07:00

so i went to the OB/GYN yesterday and my blood pressure is not a problem... yet. i need to take my blood pressure few times a week so it doesn't go up while i don't notice it. i still could get pregnancy induced hypertension also. so for now we are still in good health. next OB appointment is june 22nd. i probably won't have too much to report until then.

2007-05-29T15:39:00.000-07:00

tomorrow i'm off to the doctors to get my blood pressure evaluated. prayers please! :D

2007-05-29T15:38:00.000-07:00

today's blood pressure (taken at physical for CYS... 1 test) 112/84 (supposedly still good ^^)